Tuesday, January 3, 2012

ending 2011

I've been holding up very well with the news of my son's diagnosis. But now as I sit here ready to write about the past one and half weeks, a lump forms in my throat and I fight tears.
As long as I am taking care of my son, or cleaning-- somehow keeping busy-- I'm fine. I can smile a real smile and be happy. I find joy in the work that I need to do to keep my son healthy.
When I slow down and try to think, everything changes. I feel the stress that builds while sitting and waiting for chemotherapy and spinal taps and doctors. I feel the exhaustion that creeps in from not getting to bed at a reasonable hour and then waking several times a night to care for a four-year-old who can't find her way back to bed, or a twelve-year-old who wakes from nightmares and shivering from a low body temperature after chemo.

I will continue to write about the joy, and the heartache. Get ready to take a walk with me through my new life as a mom of a child with cancer. I'm changing already, and truly, I'm learning to like myself. 

3 comments:

Frances said...

Praying for all of you. God bless.

Love,

Frances

Anonymous said...

You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength!

You are not alone on this walk! I can see His footprints next to yours already. I suspect that, being in His grip, you will find you are capable of enduring much more than you ever thought you could. I love you and will not cease to pray for your strength and D's remission.
Love,
Suzy

Yvonne said...

Linda,

May 2012 be a year of jubilee for you, following 2011 which was more of a year of sorrow.

May abundant grace pour over you, wash you in His love, and raise your eyes to the Beatitude!